My Heart

I have been meaning to sit down and write for quite a few days now, but something always seems to prevent me from having a few quite moments to get my thoughts out in words. So now, this morning, with tons of things on my desk and a task list full of details to take care of, I am choosing to ignore those things that would want to grab for my attention and instead deliberately give my attention to the thoughts floating around in my head. (This grabbing vs. giving is actually another string of thoughts I hope to blog about in the future...)

A few days ago I had a conversation with my son that went something like this: (I wanted him to do something he did not want to do at the moment.)

Me: Luc, I want you to turn off the TV and _____________________ (I can't even remember what it was)
Luc: Mom, I'll give you a dollar if I don't have to do it.
Me: Luc, I want you to turn off the TV and ____________________.
Luc: I'll give you all my money if I don't have to do it.
Me: Luc....
Luc: OK, I'll give you a million dollars if I don't have to do it!
Me: Luc, I don't want your money, I want your obedience.

That statement seemed to work fine for the moment, but then something (or Someone) started to make me feel uncomfortable about that statement. While I fully understand that as parents we need to teach children to obey, I also began to think that is not what I really want. What I really want is not rote obedience, but rather for his heart to trust me - to open his heart to someone outside of himself (me) and from that vantage point, out of trust and love, he would obey.

While I am FAR from this with my children and I know that it is easier written than done, God began to speak gently to me from this interaction. He, too, said to me, "Tara, I don't want your obedience...I want your heart. I want you to trust Me with your heart. I want you to trust My love and from there I want you to obey if I tell you something to do." He is also making it clear that He wants to go on a journey with me into my heart - to look at the hidden places, the sinful places - but equally has made it clear that this is a journey of love not condemnation. He is giving me an invitation not just to "obey" and do the "right" thing or to make myself better or try harder or be a "good little girl" (which I can't do anyway!), but to join Him on a journey and allow His Spirit to transform me by His power.

Lord, here is my heart. I will not try to slap on external obedience, but rather my obedience will be in continually opening my heart to Your Spirit, in trusting You to take me on a journey. Like when I first came to You, I declare once more that I cannot do it on my own - that me being good in my own power is not what You desire. You desire for it to be Your work and the transformative power of Your Spirit. I yield myself to that transforming Power...

Preparing for Advent and Christmas

(I have posted this at storyformed.wordpress.com along with a few more Advent and Christmas ideas!)

The calendar I made this year provides a cycle for telling the stories of God. It gives us a framework for listening, celebrating and doing – and provides natural opportunities for all of us (including our children) to grow in wisdom and faith.

So as we come to the end of a calendar year (at least using the Christian Season calendar), I want to be intentional about how we begin this next cycle of seasons – Advent and Christmas. I know if I do not prepare now, I will have many good intentions but few plans that come to fruition.

Here is some of what we plan to do to get ready and to enter the Advent and Christmas seasons:

Placing visual and symbolic elements on our kitchen table

Since our table is the gathering place of the family each evening, it seems the best venue to display our symbolic elements. We will spend time each evening reading, reflecting, and praying so I want there to be visual elements around us too.

I am going to use a long blue table runner (blue is the color of Advent). The Nativity will be placed at the center of the table but will not contain Mary, Joseph and the Baby until the last week. I will have 6 candles on the table as well representing 6 different names and stories we will tell over the 4 weeks of Advent (we will use the “O Antiphon” writings found in the blog).

Evening Prayer

I am writing some biblical study and prayer forms that we will use each evening. It includes different passages from the scriptures that point us toward Advent and the story of the coming of the Christ Child. We will read it together and engage certain stories on specific evenings. (I will give calendar dates for what we will do when.)

For those will little ones, I will put in an alternate form. Perhaps only one of the passages of scripture and then a short activity would suit certain families (and attention spans) better.

New Year’s Eve Party

We are inviting friends over on Saturday, November 29^th for a “New Year’s Eve Party” because for those of us following the calendar, November 30^th begins a new year and marks the beginning of Advent. We plan to use the colors from the each season in decorating the table and we will all share a meal together. We will probably talk a little about each season and its significance and the Story that we tell during that season that shapes us.

We may spend some time in the “Hallel” Psalms (Ps. 113-118) because those songs focus so much on thanking God and we’ve just celebrated Thanksgiving as a nation. We will most likely take from the Rosh Hashanah tradition of eating apples dipped in honey to remind us of God’s faithfulness in the year that has just past and looking forward to tasting His sweetness in the year to come.

(This is a new event for us, so it is a big adventure. We’ll let you know how it went and everything we did after it is over!)

Gathering Books for Christmas

During Advent, I will be pulling out my 12 favorite Christmas books and wrapping them up. Then, during each day of the 12 Days of Christmas, the kids will unwrap a book and we will read it together as a family.

And A Little Child Shall Lead Them....

I stood in the kitchen this morning, smiling from ear to ear and then almost being brought to tears.  My children found a World Vision catalogue full of gifts that can be given to children and people around the world.  As they read all the things that could be given to those in need around the world, they exclaimed "Oh let's do that!!  No, no, let's do that one because that gives goats AND chickens!"   Then when they came across a gift that was a lot of money, they began to come up with a plan to be able to purchase it in the next two years - scheming about how they could make the necessary money.  (In fact as I write this I can still hear them flipping pages and coming up with more ideas.)

I love how much they want to give!!  I love how much they don't calculate their "money portfolio" when it comes to giving to those in need.  I love that it is a World Vision catalogue that has caught their attention and not something enticing them to buy for themselves.  I love how much they want to and plan to do good in the world.

On the heels of an historic election, perhaps I have a different vote.  Maybe we should let the little children lead us....